if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Randomize
