Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
