I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
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