if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
