some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
