Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Randomize
