dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
