I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
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