Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Randomize
