yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Randomize
