So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Randomize
