garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
The adults are the big ones right?
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
