Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
