I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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