I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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