i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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