So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
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