Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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