are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
