btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Randomize
