So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
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