No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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