chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Randomize
