I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Randomize
