was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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