When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Randomize