why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
