I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
