i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
