absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Randomize
