There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
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