mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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