You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
i think my mom watched the whole time
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
