Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Randomize
