I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
where am i from again
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
Woke up backwards on a recliner
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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