shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize
