We got so high we made milksteak
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Randomize
