some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
