I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Randomize
