I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
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