Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Randomize
