DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize