I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
Randomize
