even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
I can't put those talents on a resume
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Randomize
