he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
my god I love twenty year old dicks
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize
