It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Randomize
