Christians are straight up FREAKS
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
