You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
