OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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