I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Randomize
