Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
Randomize