***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
