i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
