my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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