If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
