It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize