Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
