Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
