i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
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