just tell him i said nine months
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
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