his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
