remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
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